This week has been a very interesting week as far as eye-candy goes.
I have been seeing attractive men all over the place! I ride public transit to school, and several times this week, I have had very attractive men sit by me. And not just because it was the last place to sit either. It has felt very...intentional. I also noticed a nice-looking fella moving furniture at my apartment complex. He had a very nice smile; I know because we exchanged glances ;)
But this week has been a little different in other aspects as well. I've approached this week with an entirely different attitude than I have had recently. Recently, I have been having a judgmental attitude towards the people around me that I don't even know. Complete strangers, and I'm judging them. Based off of their clothes, their speech, their make-up. Whatever. Who am I to be thinking that I'm "better" than them? Before I started grad school, one of my primary purposes in pursuing a higher education was to help people. And now that I'm getting a higher education, I'm judging and snubbing the people I originally wanted to help. The downcast and needy. What's my problem?!
So, to re-vamp my attitude, God reminded me of a verse. Philippians 2:3. "Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves." Yeah, I have definitely been sucking at this one. So I'm doing something about it. I wrote that verse down on a piece of paper and made it look pretty with some colored Sharpies. I made one part of the verse stand out with some extra color: "consider others better than yourselves." And then I taped it onto my front door. So it's the last thing I see before I leave my apartment.
And honestly, my attitude has been changing. I'm enjoying my commute, even though some of the other commuters can make the trip interesting. Because I'm absolutely not better than them. I have no idea what their day is going to be like. But I do know that sometimes to get it started off right, all you need is a smile from a stranger. And I can be that stranger. To a lot of people.
So maybe that's why I've been seeing more attractive men around me. Maybe it's not just that there's more of them, but maybe I'm paying more attention. Or maybe I'm just enjoying the ebb and flow of life happening around me, including all of the beautiful people that I never noticed before because of the judgment I had already passed upon them. But you know, it really doesn't matter the reason. This is a good attitude and I'm looking forward to getting better and better at making it a lifestyle, not just a choice I make as I walk out the door.
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Traffic Thought
You know, today I was driving home from one of my many grad school commitments/requirements and there was an accident on the highway I normally take. It closed all the lanes, so I had to take an alternate route home, which normally wouldn't be a problem. Except that I just moved here. I had a general idea of where to go and where I was, but traffic was terrible so even though I was able to get home relatively unscathed, it was an hour-long 10 mile trip through unknown "terrain."
Overall, it was fairly uneventful. Time to think about what to have for dinner, since it was being forced back by at least an hour. But one of the thoughts I had at one of the many red lights I sat at was this: being lost in this big city would be so much more fun if I had a guy sitting in the passenger seat. It just popped into my head. What's funny is that regardless of my relationship status, this particular commitment is one that doesn't facilitate the presence of a significant other. It would actually be frowned upon had I brought one.
Anyways, I think that thought kind of gets to the heart of one of the reasons I eventually want to be in a relationship. I want to go on adventures with the man I love. Even stupid, silly adventures, like getting lost trying to get home. I want to spontaneously end up somewhere I wouldn't think to go or just drive around and look at the lights of an unknown city. But doing that by yourself is lame and boring. (Not joking, that's essentially what I did tonight.)
I get that I'm in a time where I'm basically just waiting. I mean, I'm in grad school, I'm moving locations because of it. It would be stressful to be in a relationship. It would be selfish of me to be in a relationship. At least, right now it would be...for me. Lots of my classmates are in relationships and it's really not too big of a deal for them (obviously, they have the problems of any relationship...I'm just not saying that I would consider them selfish for being in those relationships). I guess I just feel like it would be selfish for me to be in a relationship right now because I wouldn't be able to dedicate as much of myself to the relationship as I would like. Right now school has and needs my attention.
Another reason I think it would be selfish of me is because of how I view relationships. They're not supposed to be give-and-take, but rather give-and-receive. Both parties involved should focus solely on giving of their time, love, etc. And these should be received by the other just as one would receive a gift. Not taking, like a burglar or bratty kid. If I were in a relationship I would feel like the bratty kid. I want to be able to freely give of my time, my love, my emotions. While I'm in school I'm limited. It's a barrier. And I would feel like I was taking, even if my boyfriend completely understood my dilemma.
Someday though. Someday I won't be held captive by this gremlin named Grad School. I'm not saying that I'm going to get a boyfriend as soon as I'm done. And I'm not saying it would be unthinkable to not have one during school (just unlikely). All I know is that at this moment, God has me in a time of waiting. And I'm glad. But I'm also looking forward to the future He has planned for me. I don't know at exactly what point in time a man will enter the picture, but He knows. And I am so glad that He is working on setting me up on a blind date; I don't have to worry about anything. I couldn't imagine trusting my love life to someone I didn't trust completely.
Overall, it was fairly uneventful. Time to think about what to have for dinner, since it was being forced back by at least an hour. But one of the thoughts I had at one of the many red lights I sat at was this: being lost in this big city would be so much more fun if I had a guy sitting in the passenger seat. It just popped into my head. What's funny is that regardless of my relationship status, this particular commitment is one that doesn't facilitate the presence of a significant other. It would actually be frowned upon had I brought one.
Anyways, I think that thought kind of gets to the heart of one of the reasons I eventually want to be in a relationship. I want to go on adventures with the man I love. Even stupid, silly adventures, like getting lost trying to get home. I want to spontaneously end up somewhere I wouldn't think to go or just drive around and look at the lights of an unknown city. But doing that by yourself is lame and boring. (Not joking, that's essentially what I did tonight.)
I get that I'm in a time where I'm basically just waiting. I mean, I'm in grad school, I'm moving locations because of it. It would be stressful to be in a relationship. It would be selfish of me to be in a relationship. At least, right now it would be...for me. Lots of my classmates are in relationships and it's really not too big of a deal for them (obviously, they have the problems of any relationship...I'm just not saying that I would consider them selfish for being in those relationships). I guess I just feel like it would be selfish for me to be in a relationship right now because I wouldn't be able to dedicate as much of myself to the relationship as I would like. Right now school has and needs my attention.
Another reason I think it would be selfish of me is because of how I view relationships. They're not supposed to be give-and-take, but rather give-and-receive. Both parties involved should focus solely on giving of their time, love, etc. And these should be received by the other just as one would receive a gift. Not taking, like a burglar or bratty kid. If I were in a relationship I would feel like the bratty kid. I want to be able to freely give of my time, my love, my emotions. While I'm in school I'm limited. It's a barrier. And I would feel like I was taking, even if my boyfriend completely understood my dilemma.
Someday though. Someday I won't be held captive by this gremlin named Grad School. I'm not saying that I'm going to get a boyfriend as soon as I'm done. And I'm not saying it would be unthinkable to not have one during school (just unlikely). All I know is that at this moment, God has me in a time of waiting. And I'm glad. But I'm also looking forward to the future He has planned for me. I don't know at exactly what point in time a man will enter the picture, but He knows. And I am so glad that He is working on setting me up on a blind date; I don't have to worry about anything. I couldn't imagine trusting my love life to someone I didn't trust completely.
Monday, January 9, 2012
#ShoutOutToTheGirlsThat
One of the current hashtags that is trending on twitter caught my eye and I thought I would share some of my favorites. (Keep in mind that I copied and pasted these tweets straight from twitter... so, no judging on the spelling and grammar errors, please!)
#ShoutOutToTheGirlsThat...
Oh my goodness, it's almost killing me to post these unedited. Ughhhhh. Haha.
#ShoutOutToTheGirlsThat...
- dont smoke, drink or party every weekend. Dont sleep around or start drama to get attention. Yes, we still do exist.
- love to rock their natural hair
- don't NEED a man to be happy, don't use them for their money and, can provide for themselves!!!
- are truly happy for their friends when something good happens, not secretly hoping their happiness ends
- have the discipline and strength to save themselves. and the ones that have learned, and keep themselves. #virtue
- aren't afraid to be themselves.
- strive to be a virtuous woman, not a vixen.
- like being all sweat pants, hair-tied, chillin with no makeup on
- don't need a boyfriend to make them feel complete or pretty.
- Can Be Taken Home To Moms... Y'all Are Still Appreciated.
- aren't in the club every weekend.. You're that "wifey material" every dudes looking for.
- are ambitious and intelligent and have a good future ahead of them.
- actually have standards and don't settle with just anyone because they're lonely and tired of being single.
- still act like ladies to ensure the true gents out there have the opportunity to act like gentlemen.
- have confidence, it's the most attractive thing a girl can have.
Oh my goodness, it's almost killing me to post these unedited. Ughhhhh. Haha.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
The Bachelor
I just watched the season premier of Season [whatever] of the The Bachelor tonight. In the past I've kind of joked that being a contestant on the show is one of my "back-up plans" if I don't find a husband the "normal way." You know, meeting a real guy at a bank or coffee shop or in the produce aisle, hit it off and get married. Or however it happens to work. So obviously, I figured if I didn't magically bump into Mr. Right on the bus, I could definitely rely on reality television to give me a "boost" in the dating world. Keep in mind, this is something I simply joke about.
But as I was watching the show, it was painstakingly obvious how going on a show like that is something that would never work for me. Even watching all the fakey intros the girls had when they first approached Ben (the Bachelor) made me realize I wouldn't get past that part. It's just so...rehearsed. And all-around fake. I mean, what kind of couple meets and you have the perfect one-liner combined with a wink or nod or hat? Maybe it's just my personality. Even for some of the more important presentations I have had to give, I normally prepare just an outline and primarily wing the rest. It feels more natural that way.
Moving past the intros, you start to see the girls of the show interact with each other. I think this is the part that, if I were present, I would start to go completely insane. There was crying. In the very first episode. Before anyone was even sent home. Yes, I recognize that reality television loves drama and it will be emphasized. I guess I just find drama to be a waste of time and emotions. And I prefer honesty. Just seems to make life in general go a bit smoother.
Oh, what am I saying? These aren't the main reasons that I wouldn't make it on these types of shows. I'm way too picky. By some peoples' standards; not my own. I once mentioned that I had high standards and my sister retorted that I have impossible standards. But in all honesty, maybe they just seem impossible because our society doesn't try as hard to maintain any morals. And shows like The Bachelor definitely reinforce this kind of society. I wouldn't do well on a show like this because I expect to be with a man who is only dating me. A one-woman man. Apparently, these kind of guys are rare these days. And I certainly expect that he's not going to be smooching and skinny-dipping on the first date or two. Seriously, people? How is this being "picky"?
It's okay to have high expectations for the person you're going to marry. You're going to be with them for a long time; they may as well be a good person who cares for you. Views life in the same fashion as you. I realize that the choices I make in life are not the "popular" choices. When have I ever cared about being popular, though? I used to wear velveteen dresses with matching turtle necks and leggings. I doubt that was ever popular (don't worry, it was in elementary school...I think). Anyways, I know that the majority of people think I'm weird or nutty for choosing to "wait for marriage" and for basically skipping the stage in life when you can "date for fun." But I don't need everyone to like the way I do things. I'm doing things the way I believe God wants me to...the best I can, trusting Him. I mess up, sure. But someday, He's going to bring along that one guy who does like the way I do things. And then we can live life trusting our Lord as best as we can together.
But as I was watching the show, it was painstakingly obvious how going on a show like that is something that would never work for me. Even watching all the fakey intros the girls had when they first approached Ben (the Bachelor) made me realize I wouldn't get past that part. It's just so...rehearsed. And all-around fake. I mean, what kind of couple meets and you have the perfect one-liner combined with a wink or nod or hat? Maybe it's just my personality. Even for some of the more important presentations I have had to give, I normally prepare just an outline and primarily wing the rest. It feels more natural that way.
Moving past the intros, you start to see the girls of the show interact with each other. I think this is the part that, if I were present, I would start to go completely insane. There was crying. In the very first episode. Before anyone was even sent home. Yes, I recognize that reality television loves drama and it will be emphasized. I guess I just find drama to be a waste of time and emotions. And I prefer honesty. Just seems to make life in general go a bit smoother.
Oh, what am I saying? These aren't the main reasons that I wouldn't make it on these types of shows. I'm way too picky. By some peoples' standards; not my own. I once mentioned that I had high standards and my sister retorted that I have impossible standards. But in all honesty, maybe they just seem impossible because our society doesn't try as hard to maintain any morals. And shows like The Bachelor definitely reinforce this kind of society. I wouldn't do well on a show like this because I expect to be with a man who is only dating me. A one-woman man. Apparently, these kind of guys are rare these days. And I certainly expect that he's not going to be smooching and skinny-dipping on the first date or two. Seriously, people? How is this being "picky"?
It's okay to have high expectations for the person you're going to marry. You're going to be with them for a long time; they may as well be a good person who cares for you. Views life in the same fashion as you. I realize that the choices I make in life are not the "popular" choices. When have I ever cared about being popular, though? I used to wear velveteen dresses with matching turtle necks and leggings. I doubt that was ever popular (don't worry, it was in elementary school...I think). Anyways, I know that the majority of people think I'm weird or nutty for choosing to "wait for marriage" and for basically skipping the stage in life when you can "date for fun." But I don't need everyone to like the way I do things. I'm doing things the way I believe God wants me to...the best I can, trusting Him. I mess up, sure. But someday, He's going to bring along that one guy who does like the way I do things. And then we can live life trusting our Lord as best as we can together.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
24 and Single
As of right now, I’m 24. Have been for about a month. It’s interesting to be single at this age. So many of my friends are either married or on their way to it. And there's quite a few who have already started having children. There’s so much pressure from all sorts of people in my life to find someone to be with. Settle down. Or at the very least, be interested in someone. My mom is constantly telling me that I need to open myself up to possibilities. I think she thinks that I’m shutting out every single man (aka possibility) in my life by giving the impression to them that I’m not interested and never will be. But I don’t really think that I’m doing that necessarily. I’m not a “flirty” person by any means, but I don’t think I’m shutting guys out. However, one of the things that may be contributing to my lack of “success” in the dating world is probably that I treat all of my male friends equally. I don’t show preference among them, even if I might be interested in getting to know one in particular on a deeper level. I’ve never really been the kind of person to show preference. I don’t think that’s a bad thing. It just might mean that when Mr. Right does come along, he might have to take a little bit of a “risk” when he finally steps up to approach me. I’m okay with that. My family is a bit more hesitant with this approach.
Now why is my family more hesitant with this approach? Probably because they don’t think that I have the “feminine prowess” to lure in a man with just my beauty and amazing personality…and honestly, they are completely right. I’m fine with that. I understand completely that I am an average person with faults and flaws but that’s exactly what makes me unique. Will it be what draws a man to me? Yeah right. But that’s not what I want to draw a man to me either. I want the relationship I have with my future spouse to develop with the help of my favorite matchmaker: God. Let’s be honest, God knows a lot of people and I trust that He knows who to best match me up with. Am I an impatient person? Sure. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes (and no sometimes…it really depends. Relationships take a lot of time and energy and emotion). Am I going to trust God’s timing with this area in my life even though it’s hard? 100% (and I trust that when this time comes, I will be completely willing to give up my time, energy, and emotions because God will make my relationship more of a priority to me than the things that are currently taking up the majority of those things).
Does this reasoning seem completely crazy to most people? Of course. Because I’m 24 and single. Never really even been in an “official” relationship (I may end up talking about the “unofficial” 4-month one some other time). But hello!?! I’ve never even kissed a guy before (or been kissed by one). Does this make me a freak? Well, by today’s standards…maybe. But I’m fine with that. Because God has perfect timing. And if that means I have to wait a bit longer than most, that’s okay. If I’m being completely honest with myself, being single has quite a few perks. And I’m going to live my life to the fullest, regardless of whether or not I have a partner-in-crime laughing and creating havoc along with me.
Now why is my family more hesitant with this approach? Probably because they don’t think that I have the “feminine prowess” to lure in a man with just my beauty and amazing personality…and honestly, they are completely right. I’m fine with that. I understand completely that I am an average person with faults and flaws but that’s exactly what makes me unique. Will it be what draws a man to me? Yeah right. But that’s not what I want to draw a man to me either. I want the relationship I have with my future spouse to develop with the help of my favorite matchmaker: God. Let’s be honest, God knows a lot of people and I trust that He knows who to best match me up with. Am I an impatient person? Sure. Do I want to be in a relationship? Yes (and no sometimes…it really depends. Relationships take a lot of time and energy and emotion). Am I going to trust God’s timing with this area in my life even though it’s hard? 100% (and I trust that when this time comes, I will be completely willing to give up my time, energy, and emotions because God will make my relationship more of a priority to me than the things that are currently taking up the majority of those things).
Does this reasoning seem completely crazy to most people? Of course. Because I’m 24 and single. Never really even been in an “official” relationship (I may end up talking about the “unofficial” 4-month one some other time). But hello!?! I’ve never even kissed a guy before (or been kissed by one). Does this make me a freak? Well, by today’s standards…maybe. But I’m fine with that. Because God has perfect timing. And if that means I have to wait a bit longer than most, that’s okay. If I’m being completely honest with myself, being single has quite a few perks. And I’m going to live my life to the fullest, regardless of whether or not I have a partner-in-crime laughing and creating havoc along with me.
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